Have you ever get followed everywhere by that dark rainy cloud of bad lucks? Have you ever felt your life is cursed to feel series of bad lucks almost every day? It is normal to have some bad days once in a while. My life used to be that way, too. It used to be normal like other people. Bad days come and then they go, and once in a while it might come back. But now, it is like ALMOST EVERYDAY is a terrible day. Bad luck after bad luck after bad luck of all sorts come pouring down all day almost non-stop. You just hope that it will be for a period of time and then things will come back to normal. You pray for help from above. But nothing works. It's been months, and actually such period of time is like come every year for many months for more than ten years already. My life is Hell.
Have you ever prayed and get shunned by God, felt so abandoned by Him when you don't even have the faith to hold on to your religion anymore? .
Have you ever felt that if life continues like this there is every good reason to die? If every day of your life is going to be cursed non-stop with pain, accidents, sickness, bad fortune and all other bad stuff and no one can help you and this period of terrible curse keep coming back to your life.
You know this is done by the Devil. You know this comes from bad karma. But you don't know why the God who promised to be there just not there anymore. The God who said he is Love. The God who said he would protect. You don't know where that God is anymore and you don't know why bother going to church anymore.
In conclusion, I went back to walk and then came back to the same abyss again. All roads lead back to the same abyss. I'd rather jump down because there is no other way to go anyway, is there?
Same pain, same misery, going in loop over and over and over again all my life? Then why live?
I will not go back to church again until it stops. That's all I can say for now. If anyone want to say a prayer, then please do so. Someone is about to become a lost soul and falling down to Hell right here.