I have noticed how my life has been processing itself. It's true that after some bad lucks, a good fortune will happen at the end. BUT...it just simply lacks equivalence in the degree. It just does not balance. In a week, I usually have 4 very bad days, 2 ordinary days, 1 very good day. How exhausting!
In a very bad day, like yesterday, I got 5-6 bad lucks...some of them continuously happened in a row. Got overcharged by a motorcycle, forgetting my phone so more payment for another motorcycle to go back home and return again, having diarrhea, going to church but it closed, going to a restaurant that I have only one favorite dish but that dish is not available, got a taxi who didn't know the way at all and not accepting his fault, terrible noise shook my nerve before leaving the house, didn't get important things done, buying something and found out that the price tag was for another product and the real price was double of that amount. Embarrassing myself by paying sanitary napkins at Seven Eleven and left it on the counter with my drink, male staff had to pick them up and called me back. Get the picture? Now, imagine that about four days a week. Including bad day of teaching, bad day of working part-time in the office when everything goes wrong and a big mistake made.
I know that there are good days. But isn't it so sad to think that after that short wonderful day, you'll go back to the long period of darkness and pain again. Sometimes I wonder how long it will go on like this. Do I have to keep crying for four days in order to smile for one day?
Another reason to think of dying as a way out, I admit. If it does not stop, if it keeps continuing like this. Just simply Hell on Earth with a few breaks. It's not really life...it's a tormenting machine with breaks.
Oh, by the way, a bad day also means that my prayer got the opposite thing as an answer. Sometimes it really feels like you ask for bread and the Father gives you a snake. Don't mind me. I just feel that way sometimes really.
No comments:
Post a Comment