Lately there have been this grey thing covering my heart and I can't get rid of it. Being grateful for little things use to make feel a little better, but this grey thing block me from feeling those little good moments. Having confidence and faith is essential for someone to move forward, get things done and feel hopeful, but this grey thing take away my ability to have all of that. A thought that very bad days often come before very good days but this gray things make me think back that I've been having bad days for a week or more but there is still no particular good days in sight.
This grey thing makes me sad. It makes my heartache during the day when I'm busy doing ordinary things. It's like a grey color is painted all over me and the air around me.
This grey thing is terrible. Even for an event that is unlikely to happen in a wrong way, I can imagine it going wrong anyway and feel so anxious and afraid about the future. This grey thing double the power of negative thinking.
You may call it depression and you may say go and take your medicine. Well, that is the last thing I will use for it has bad effects on health in the long run, something most people look over.
Looking back to the past, I remember that this grey thing could disappear by itself when situation changed and really good things happened. Sometimes it even miraculously disappear....maybe someone prayed for me. Depression...maybe, but let's see how long it last first. If it goes away some time soon, it might be just a bolt of blue.
But...if it keeps covering my heart in thicker and thicker layers, I'll take those pills. If I still want to live I have to.
Just wait and see how long it stays this time. Please pray for me if you can. It's better than chemical medicine, much much better.
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