The Pain of the Soul

I remember asking someone "what the pain of the soul is like?"

I think I don't have to ask anymore.

It is the one that happened sometimes as a ball or as a stab of knife  or sword
right at where the "heart" (not the physical heart) is. In the middle of your chest
and down to the upper part of the stomach.

It is a bit similar to emotional pain but way too strong.
Sometimes it can't be described, except for saying that
"It bleeds the life out of you."

It can happen instantly, stayed for a while, and then it's gone.

When it gets too strong, it is so unbearable that I wish for nothing but death.
But many times God would lift it off before I actually die.

It is a kind of torment.
It is a sword stabbing in the soul.
It occurs over and over again throughout my life.
It can't be understood by friends or family who haven't experienced it.
But those who have, will understand and sympathize.

This kind of pain can cause inward tears, which is worse than outward tears running down from your eyes. 

That's a note for today.

Still in year 1 during my experiment.