demon attacked

My heart is so weary today. My body is full of fatique. My mind is unrest. The ghosts still come back to haunt me. In between my sleep and my wake, I was tortured by something more than a nightmare and I don't know what to do about it. In the world where most people don't believe things spritually anymore, who can I talk to about this? When my parents look worried, all I can do is just tell them that I'm sick again. Just tell them I have a headache, chest pain, stomachache, etc. I can't tell them that I am attacked by some spirits and I can't have peaceful sleep. And now I don't even have to sleep, it's right here inside my body.

I don't know why it comes back. I thought it was over with. Now I feel it in my body again, burning and torturing me. I asked God through the Bible, all that He said to me was the story of Paul and his thorn in the flesh. Is that the same case with me? Does that mean I will never be completely free from such torment for the rest of my life? I am so ashamed but I can't help but wondering that it doesn't sound like a loving God.

Yes, I know I lack faith. I should trust.

But this torment comes also as a temptation, asking me to do something that might lead me to that line between light and darkness again. Will God left me to fight this temptation alone? Or is He just telling me that after all nothing is forbidden or sinful?

Suddenly, I remember something I read a few days ago. It's a visualizing technique designed particularly for those who suffer this type of torment. It used to work with me once.

Oh..my God. I just did it and it worked! I'll keep this technique as my life line then. That darkness didn't completely disappear but at least I feel better for a while. At least it's better than having no way out at all.