"trying" to do God's will

Today I'm supposed to be at the meditation course. My teacher said that it's important to practice regularly. But then at about 2.30 am, I couldn't fall asleep because I sneezed and sneezed and sneezed. And I knew that if I continued like that for the rest of the night, going to a meditation course would be a waste of time because I would be falling asleep instead of meditating the whole day long. I don't understand why things like this keep happening before the day that I want to do something good. I asked God last night, "Why? You don't want me to go?" I sneezed until my whole body felt so exhausted. So I said, "Ok, dear God. If you don't want me to go. Let me sneeze 3 times or more in the morning." Then I went back to bed with a Vicks bottle near my nose. And then finally I could sleep. I didn't sneeze anymore.

Then I woke up early in the morning, feeling rather sleepy, hoping that God would make me sneeze so that I didn't have to go. But no, I was fine. No more sneezing. So I said, "Ok, dear God. I will go then. If you want me to go, I'll go. Whatever you want." So I gathered my strength, got out of bed, went to my closet, and began to get change, feeling so ready for a day of good work. Then...I felt it's coming. Oh no...I'm so ready to go now, dear God! Why now?! And then achew! achew! achew....achew!...and achew!

Hmmm...I was all set to go and then.... Well, I gave Him my promise so I would just do what He told me to do. I really did sneeze more than three times so I called my meditation teacher that couldn't go (again) and she sounded so disppointed. And I felt bad.


Sometimes God told me to do things I really don't understand. But anyway, I've promised him that I would try to my best to follow His will everyday. So...I'll just do it. The problem is...sometimes I don't know if I hear Him correctly. Anyway, if I misunderstood Your will, then please forgive me dear God. I really did try.