Monday, 16 July 2012

what a hug can say

When I was 16 years old and was an exchange student in Maine, US. I was surrounded with kind-hearted and loving people who love to give their hugs. Men, women, old people, young people, or even children, they love to hug one another. I remember how warm and loving those hugs were. It was just a way to say 'I love you' from a heart to a heart. Since then, I have always considered giving a hug as something beautiful, something clean and nice, something that is good and holy. A way to express God's love to another human being.

But after I grew up and become an adult, I've lived in and visited countries where men touching women is regarding as sin, as taboo, or immoral act. A hug is not view as pure and simple way of greeting. If you let a man hug you, it is like you give them a come-on sign. And when you are being hugged, you would feel like you are being harrassed. Sometimes even a handshake from a man who thinks of you in a lustful way can make you feel harrassed as well. Sadly, after some experience like that, my body learned to distrust hugs from men. The last time a foreign man asked me for a hug, I believed his intention was pure, but my mind wasn't the same anymore. I reluctantly gave that hug because it was a good manner to do so, but I believed that he could sense that my hug didn't come out of a restful mind at all.

It is very sad. I want to be healed. I want to become someone who can hug like a child again. Then, an idea popped up in my heart. Why don't I let the children heal me?

Children, they hug you with the purest kind of love and innocence. I remember how light I felt when I was spending time volunteering in an orphan home. I hugged babies and little kids and they hugged me back and I felt so wonderful.

I remember a special experience. One day, I was sitting on a bus to go home. The night before I allowed my ex-boyfriend to came too close and touch my body in an improper way and I felt so bad about it. I felt dirty and guilty. His touch wasn't pure and although I forgave him because I knew that he really didn't intend to make me feel bad in any way, I couldn't help feeling so terribel of myself for letting it happen. Then, this small little girl about 3 years old walked pass my seat with her mom. She had such big and innocent eyes. Suddenly she put one of her little hands on my knee for a while, out of no reason. It was only a few seconds but, amazingly, I was healed! I felt clean again with no apparent reason at all. It was as if the little girl transferred some of the purest love from her soul into mine, making me feel ok about myself again. It is a very hard-to-describe experience, you have to feel it yourself, I can't find much words to explain. But it was a miracle. Truly a miracle. Just a few seconds and my soul was healed.


After that, the little girl just walked away with her mom. There was nothing significant at all. She was just a child. But her innocent eyes and her healing touch, I could never forget all my life.

You know, I can't help thinking that the little girl might grow up to be a saint. I can't help thinking that God send this girl to be born on Earth for a very special reason. But then again, maybe God just use that particular child in that particular moment, as his tool, to send me his healing love, that's all. God can use anyone, anywhere, to do his work. We can never know anyway. God's way is a mysterious way.


I will learn to be healed again. I promise myself. I will find more children to hug and I will absorb all those pure love into myself, so that one day, I can share my hugs and my love in pure and simple way to other people, whether they are men or women. But I will also learn not to allow myself be touched by people who use that opportunity to harass or take advantage of me. Life's lesson is learned through mistakes. I've had my lot.

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