In a dark spirit

This is me today. I'm in a dark spirit today and I can't help it.
It's so dark that I don't even want to fight it.
I feel fear, then fear turn to hatred, then I feel like shouting
"Get away from me everbody, I don't care about all of you!"
I had a nightmare last night and it told me that the devil is gonna get me today.
And they did. Oh, Hell did get me today.

I hate this...feeling like being watched every step
feeling like someone is listening to me while I'm talking on the phone
or writing on my facebook. Maybe it's my illusion, maybe it's real
Maybe all those people are terrible and scarry
Or, maybe it's just me and my hullucination
But I don't care anymore. All of them just go to Hell!

I know I'm speaking like the Devil more and more.

I hate it when people look at me with eyes that hide ulterior motives
Eyes that say "I don't like you"
Smile that say "don't you realize you're an idiot?"
The unfriendly, unkind look on people's face
I am cursed to be too sensitive and have to feel it everytime.

And I cannot forgive that person today. And maybe for several days ahead.
I don't know what to do now. I'm in a too dark spirit, don't even want to talk to God.

(Sigh) Maybe just....not now....dear God. I'll go to you....just...not now...I can't.