Just a shortnote to remind myself about what I still have to keep on improving. Years ago, I didn't know how terrible the effect can be when you talk negatively about someone, whether they are someone you know or don't know. I would just enjoy the gossip the conversation with friends and family, or pouring my anger out so that my friends can console me.
Now I learn more and more how such wave of darkness can continue on and create more darkness far and wide and will return also to hit myself. I try to be careful about words and learn that speak too little is better than too much, because when you speak without mindfulness you can sin and sin ad sin.
However, getting rid of a habit is not that easy. I'm trying harder than before but every now and then I still slip some negative words about others, and it would be too late to take it back. No matter how few, the words will form a negativity inside another person's mind and will continue on to cause more darkness somewhere else, and I'm sure that it will return to me in some form. It was just a few words, but still, it's darkness.
I pray that God would help me overcome this. Now I can see how dark this kind of thing can be and I wish that I can escape them. And I wish I can tell those close to me of the terrible darkness that can come out from words...but sadly, some still don't understand and still ask me to join such conversation...and sadly, I still have not mastered the art of avoiding that....trying hard, though.
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