Transcendental Peace

Let me write this one down so that can remember what life has taught me lately.

There is a verse from the Bible saying "...and the peace of Christ, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Jesus Christ"

I remember such peace that came through me from various situations and it seems to be a guiding light that can show me whether something is from the Lord. I am a naturally unpeaceful person, always worry, always complain, always rush. But once in a while, God sent me such wonderful peace through my mind and I learn to notice that it is the peace of Christ, not of me, not of this world. It is truly a gift, a helping hand, from God and doesn't occur from my own effort.

There are different kinds of circumstance that I experience such peace:

- Peace of surrendering: in the middle of trouble that I can't avoid, and I just don't know what to do to make it go away, and I cry in bitterness and pain, sometimes God would pity my troubleful heart and just grant me the peace of surrendering, suddenly my heart would realize somehow that I can just let go, and let God, accepting everything that He places on my plate. Such peace came so suddenly after a desperate prayer. A heart that shouts "why this thing has to happen to me! Please make it go away!" suddenly grow mellow and calm and just simply...surrender. I just know that it wasn't me, it was God that touches my heart with a balm of peace.

-Peace from the Word of God: when I reach something and the message speaks so clearly to me about the situation that I'm in or the question that I ask, there is so much peace inside my heart which confirms me right away that it comes from God and if I follow the instruction, I would be doing His will and I don't have to worry about anything. It only happens sometimes, but everytime is so precious. The Word of God that comes through others can have profound effect of peace to the heart as well. Last week, a priest spoke only a few words to me but it echoed all through my heart and lit it up with so much light. The few words totally opened my eyes to see the answers for the questions I've been asking for a long time, all in just a second! My eyes were brimmed with tears for my heart can breathe so much peace and happiness at that moment, all my worries disappear.

-Peace of forgiving: In the middle of a fight or in the middle of a situation that someone is intentionally hurt me with words or actions, God sometimes protects my heart with His peace. When this happens, I still feel the pain, but there is less or no bitterness against the person who hurts me. It is like an invisible Hand was holding my heart and separating another me out of that situation. There are two of me. One who is experiencing the pain and one who is watching it and trying to do the right thing, the best thing. Sometimes I am able to apologize because God grants me such peace. It is all God's grace. I'm not able to do that by myself, really. There was one situation that a person was hurting me badly but I experience only sorrow, but no bitterness or anger toward the person at all, just pure sorrow, deep sorrow. Somehow, God held my heart at that moment and helped me see why this person did such a thing to me, and I had no bitterness against the person at all. This is also a peace of Christ, I didn't know how I could survive that situation without Him. I wish that it would occur more often though, because anger and bitterness is often a part of my emotional problem. If I don't pray, I often get lost in my own negative thoughts and feelings about others.

- Peace of contentment: This is a peace that occurs out of nowhere and there is no explanation. It helps me feel happy about everything and everyone. It helps me to see beauty in an ordinary day. It helps me to see that life is beautiful and people are wonderful. We are all sinners but we are also God's children and I can feel my love for everyone. This kind of peace is such a wonderful, wonderful gift. My heart would feel so light and so content. This peace helps me want nothing and realize that what I am having in front of me is already a blessing. Sadly, it never lasted more than a day or half a day, but no matter what, I would treasure such moments of peace in my heart always. I could never forget such a gift from God.

-Peace of the soul: this is so hard to explain, it happens at night and upon waking up, only a few times in my life. It felt as if there is light living within you. That light relaxes your tense-up body and stressful mind with such wonderful peace that I can't explain. One time it came like a wave of warmth passing from my toe to my head and seeping into my heart. Before I fell asleep that night I was crying so hard, but when such peace came, I no longer felt any pain or sadness. It was as if God stays "inside" my heart, body, and soul. He was "within." Another time, I felt a light within my heart as I was about to wake up, and I felt that the light has been holding me all through the night, protecting me from bad dreams and any evil spirits, and that the light welcomes me to the new morning with love.

All these experiences about peace shows me one very true thing: Jesus Christ is the one I have to rely upon and God is really there to help us when we need Him. We cannot make it without Him.