When there is no sunshine

I look up at the sky today, and I see no sun, no light. Just the dark stormy clounds and then the rain pour down...

I have seen the rain before. I have been in a storm before. I know what is like to live under the dark clouds and feeling the gloomy emptiness inside my chest.

The sun always comes back, sooner or later.

But this one seems to be longer than expected...it just keeps on raining and raining everyday, both the sky and my heart. And I wonder when it will be over....

Then I hear Satan whispers "This one won't get better. They want to force you til you can't breathe and you will have to surrender and do something you don't want to do. You have no choice this time...see I told you, it's all a lie...all that you have believed...all are illusion, including that great love you used to belive in so much..hahaha!"

Nightmare and fear...depressive morning...heaviness of the heart...dryness of the soul ...inability to be on time with anything and everything....all the events that causes pain, guilt, anxiety, keep pouring in non-stop.

Then I hear my angel whispers "you should rejoice for it times like this when your soul have a chance to grow. Just endure and pray and never stop believing that God loves you. One day there will be no tears, one day there will be no pain. Try to open your heart. The sun is still there but the clouds are blocking the way. Just focus on love. Only focus on love.     Not yourself nor the negativity of your mind. Just let go and love...everything and everyone...eventhough your heart is aching...and it will be ok...it will be alright."

I listen to the rain falling on my rooftop tonight.
And then...I try to smile...through my tears.