As a lone traveler

People often ask me why I like to travel alone. It is hard for me to explain, but let me just say that in being alone I am free to be myself and to follow my heart's desire. I am free to do whatever I want to do in every single minute of the trip. I am free to hang around places that give me inspiration and peace or leave places that make me feel bored. I am free to make decision and learn to live with the results of my decision. I have big opportunities to learn from strangers or make new temporary friendship. They're worthy, you know, you can learn a lot from a person although you might not be able to meet him or her again after that trip.  When traveling alone, I have to stick very close to God in order to be safe and reach destinations. I have to listen to Him in my conscience all the time. And in many situations I have to rely purely on kindness of strangers which reminds me that I need other people on Earth and that people are generally good. The world never lacks good people, they are everywhere.  Most of all, it is the time that God will show me the lessons he wants me to learn.

Soon I will write a book to tell all about this in details and maybe one day some people might want to pack their suitcases and step out there in the world and discover great things. Trust me, you'll get addicted to it!

I am also a lone seeker of wisdom and truth. Out of the blue, I often arrive at a church, cathedral, temple that I had never been to and ask questions and people would look at me with such curious, distrustful eyes that reflect questions like 'Who is she?" "Where does she come from?" "What does she want?" "Can we trust her?" or "Is she a spy?" Lately, I just received a big distrustful look from a priest in a province outside Bangkok, just because I walked straight out to him and said hello. All that I ever did was just to thank him for taking the time to give me directions to the church on the phone and to ask him a simple question about God's will. But then, I felt an urge to back away for he seemed so "distrustful." He even tried to ask me trickery questions to see if I was telling the truth. Well, I'm not saying that he was distrustful, for the truth is I don't know and I shouldn't judge, but that how it seemed and how it made me feel.

Being rejected this way always hurt but I'm getting more used to it. I wasn't angry at him for people have all the right reason to suspect strangers that appear out of nowhere to their door step. But you know, I just couldn't help thinking that if one day I can appear in front of a door step and be welcomed and trusted by the person inside the building, I would feel so very happy. I am just a lone traveler, enjoying her journey and seeking for guidance and wisdom. I am not a wolf under sheep skin. I wish I could tell them that.

Wait a minute. I just happened to remember a good memory. The priest who received me the first time when I went to the Little Holy Spirit Chapel to ask for help was so kind to me. He was very, very kind to me on that first day when I was just a stranger, dressed so improperly, hanging around, waiting to talk to him, like a ghost. He talked to me kindly, promised me that he would help, he walked me to the lunch area. When thinking about that, I am still grateful. And that was indeed, something that made me believe from day one that he is from God, he works for God. For there was so much kindness and love in him. (Thank you, Father)

Anyway, the latest lesson that God gave me was to accept rejection, misunderstanding, and gossip as an unavoidable pain in my life. Just accept it and don't do anything else. (The message came from a monk in a temple, someone I highly respect.)He also tells me not to forget that sometimes I also misunderstand other people's intention and thought, so don't blame anyone if that sometimes happen to me. It's just human nature.

But no matter what, I won't stop being a solo traveler and truth seeker. It is something that my heart loves to do and I will continue to do it. If I offend someone, then I will back away and leave. That's all. But maybe, who knows, I might happen to find those who ready to trust and be kind to strangers again.