Dear God,
I felt so unhappy everytime people talking about getting a crown in heaven or about winning race and receiving an award in Heaven. To me, it sounds like Heaven is another high-class company with carrot sticks award for employees, the very thing that I hate so much on Earth. If Heaven is really that way then there is absolutely no hope at all, I rather be a ghost roaming around somewhere else, at least there is not so much pressure and competition.
Well, yes, I know that there are many levels of souls and I know that I'm nothing comparing to your saints and martyes. But can I forget about the levels, the classes, the who-sit-near-Jesus-throne stuff? The idea really irritates me.
Dear God, can I just be hugged by you when I get there? That's all I want, really.
I want to be bathed in Your love and forget everything.
That is the only reward my heart desires.
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