Subconsciousness and Temptation

I am going to write about something that I don't really know, but it has been bothering me a lot.

They say that our mind is divided into the consciousness and subconsciousness. We are aware of our consciousness and we make logical decisions based on it. However, the vast area of our mind, the large submerged bottom of the iceberg, is something that is beyond our control. Now that is the problem. There can be so many many things hidden down there and we are not aware of at all, and those things can go up sometimes to disturb the peace of mind. The worst thing is...I don't know what to do about it.  I can't stop it from happening. The subconsciousness does thing on its own and it can't be stopped, only suppressed, but if you suppress anything, then it will resurface again.

They say that meditation helps, but the more I meditate, the more those junks in the bottom keep surfacing to bother me.They say that a healing is needed but...how?  I don't know how to heal that wound deep down inside. I don't even know what it is and I am afraid.

So many times, I close my eyes, fall into the state of half-awake, half-asleep, and here we go again, flashes of pictures, noises, voices, confusion, frenzy rushes of thoughts ,and all the other mess appearing before my closing eyes. I felt so heavy, so anxious, so confused. I can't sleep and I can't get up. I just sink...and sink. It is a kind of suffering indeed.

Sometimes my consciousness already know what to do, but my subconsciousness just won't obey it. For example, I know how I should behave around someone, how I should view my relationship with the person, I know what the boundary is and I have no intention to cross or to make someone feel offended. But...even if for a moment I am not anchored in the present moment and my thought wandered, my subconsciousness would trick me to do something wrong again, and I'm not even aware of it while I was doing it. This happens so often and it torments me. It is like I am living with two persons inside myself, the one that I know and the one that I don't know.

Subconsciousness, the world beyond the deep blue ocean of the soul, the mystery that makes me feel so fearful. Sometimes it brought tears to my eyes and pain to my chest out of no reason. Sometimes it makes my heartbeat fast just hearing someone speaks a simple word, and I can't control it and I don't know why. I am so jealous of those who has the deep knowledge into this mysterious realm of the mind. To me, it's such an unknown terrirory. I am only aware that it exists but have no clue of what it looks like.

There is a verse from the Bible that I recently received from God, to help me deal with this, although it doesn't clarify to me anything about the subconsciousness, but it is an encouragement. The verse says:
      "God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear."

There will still be a battle between the two worlds: the consciousness and the subconsciousness, but I will believe in this words from God, I will believe that it is not impossible for me to overcome.

Another thing that I can do is to follow the profound advice from the little booklet written by Thich Nach Hanh;
Keep planting the seeds of love and kindness into your subconsciousness so that, in its own time, its plant will spring forth instead of the plants of darkness.

If there is any other advice beside the ones mentioned above, I wish that someone would tell me.