Sometimes people in your life are there to inspire you or help you realize something about yourself. Let me tell you a few stories of a few people that I know.
P'Kay has been my favorite cousin since I was a little child and she still is. Although she has moved to another province and we have not seen each other for like ten years or more, I still felt the same about her the last time that we met. I just simply like her. At first I don't really understand why, but then I try to look deeper within and found that her simplicity and kindness is what I always adore in my cousin. Maybe these two things are what I lack and want to have more, or maybe they balance out my character. P'Kay has always been so simple, funny, and kind. In my childhood, I remember her playing with me and the other young children at my grandmother's house, making us laugh with small and simple jokes. I still remember that whenever she comes to join us, there is always joy. Yes, I remember the other older cousins too, they were fun to play with, but no one was like her. She doesn't mind making herself look foolish so that other people can laugh. She never boast and never say anything arrogant about herself at all. Her aim is life is never too ambitious either. Her kindness is expressed so straightforwardly. Her worries and fear are expressed in an honest and simple way as well. She often says a lot of kind words, caring words, to others. I think one of the reasons I like to be with her is that I feel so comfortable and at ease. She is just simply herself and she loves us. In my opinion, this is one of the ladies who is a great material for "motherhood." Her son is quite a proof of that. A cheerful, brave, responsible young boy who loves his mother so much.
And me...yeah...quite the opposite. I like to look at things too complicately. I don't express myself spontaenously. I am too much into intellectual stuff that I often forget to notice the needs of those around me. Sometimes I can't help but think that if one day I will have a man as a partner of my life, that person must have a lot of her qualities: simple, kind, funny, and constant. I need all of that to balance my complex stressful side. I can't tell jokes but I love listen to them. My emotion is so unstable that I really need someone to be an achor of my mind, helping it to rest still.
Isn't it funny? My best friend has a lot of her qualities too. And we are friends for years and years, going through thick and thin together, for we are quite a good balance for each other.
Another person I want to talk about is my friend, Add. We know each other from the university but don't have a lot of opportunities to spend much time together. Mostly we meet up in group, with the rest of our friends. However, once in a while we will have some long talk on the phone and the last time I was lucky enough to meet her in person for a meal. Her life is an inspiration to me. She has endured so much hardship, and most of the time is because she cared about other people so much that she didn't want to refuse their request. She has taken care of more than 3 sick and stuck-in-bed people in her family, a job that no one else want to do so they give it all to her. She has to work on the thesis while changing their diapers, washing their bed sheet, or feeding them. She has raised two children, her nephew and niece, as if she was their mother. She carried them in her arms so often that her arm's muscle ache and cause a pain in her teeth. She did all that, fighting the resentment and anger inside her mind, for she knows that she has been taken advantage of. She just tried to do her best with the present until all the trials are over. Now life has granted her the rest and freedom that she really deserves. She won a scholarship to study abroad for 6 months, a whole time for herself to find and follow her dream.
Add makes me look at myself as a rather selfish person. I don't have to
take care of any sick people or little children. When I have a project
or when I study, I don't allow anyone to disturb me. I usually ignore
all the houseworks when I'm very busy. It is not innated in my character
to place my parent's needs above my own. What a shame, actually.
Add is also one woman who is truly happy to stay single and she has quite good reasons for it. I believe that she is one who won't suffer the pain of loneliness even if she stay single all her life. She knows how to love those around her, and how to be peaceful with herself.
"When you get very old and can't do a lot of things you love to do, won't you feel lonely without a family of your own?"
"At that time, I would just sit and enjoy the memory of the things I have done earlier in my life then. I can be happy with that. It's enough for me."
"What about children, you don't want to have any children of your own?"
"Why do we have to produce children of our own when there are so many orphaned children in the world that we can give love to? " (I absolutely agree with that idea.)
Our last conversation from the meal that night was that we agree to one thought: just do our best in the present moment, and on our last breath, there is nothing to fear.
Thank you, Add, for having a meal that night. You are an incredible person. Now, I want to be less selfish and do more things for others. And I won't worry so much anymore whether I will have to live my life without a partner. Life can be lived alone, and happiness can still be found in it.
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